The Fiver | The first victims of the brand new Dyche plan

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When Michy Batshuayi’s latest loan move, Barcelona’s unwanted Suárez and a record Newcastle signing Danny Mills has not even heard of are your headline acts, then it’s apparent it has been a quiet January transfer window. Within the magic kingdom of yellow tickers, where the dress code was matching ties for the lads and designer belts for the lasses, not even Big Sam Allardyce’s gimlet eyes glazing over on the late shift could lift the intrigue levels as the window SLAMMED SHUT with five clubs not even bothering to buy anybody.

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