Football transfer rumours: £90m Jadon Sancho to Manchester United?

Today’s piffle is bored witless

Well that was a waste of time. Peter Crouch joined Stoke from Burnley. Or was it the other way round? The Mill can’t be bothered to find out; it spent deadline day in a state of torpor, bored witless by the absence of anything happening, other than one Sky Sports News reporter morphing into a snowman and Jim White linking himself with a £100m move to Manchester United as the 11pm cut-off approached. Cancel deadline day.

Related: Transfer window January 2019 – every deal from Europe's top five leagues

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