Football transfer rumours: Yaya Touré to join Crystal Palace or West Ham?

Today’s piffle just wants to feel appreciated

Purveyors of birthday cakes the length and breadth of England are waiting with bated breath to see which, if any, Premier League club will give Yaya Touré a gig. The 35-year-old Ivorian has parted company with Olympiakos three months after rejoining the Greek club, having made only three appearances. “Yaya is leaving as a friend and the doors at Olympiakos will always be open for him,” said the Greek club in a statement, shortly after ordering security to close the doors firmly behind him, double-lock them, nail stout planks across them and barricade them with several grand pianos. Now that his latest Greek odyssey is at an end, Touré is hopeful of reviving what’s left of his career in the English top flight if he can find a club who’ll take a punt on him. Crystal Palace have been mentioned in passing, although a high maintenance, past-his-prime player sounds more like West Ham’s bag.

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