The Fiver | David Seaman’s psychedelic England kit from the Euro 96 semi-final

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When it comes to getting Manchester United, nobody gets Manchester United more than Not José. The Fiver is inclined to trust that, having put a smile back on the face of every United supporter, Not José was being totally honest while discussing Phil Jones’s new deal. “Phil knows what it takes to be a Manchester United player,” Not José said, going a little red in the face as he tried to stifle a giggle and stop his sides from splitting. “He has won the Premier League, FA Cup and Big Vase and is now one of the senior players within the team. He is coming up to his 27th birthday and entering into his prime years as a centre half. We are delighted Phil has committed his future to the club.”

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