The Fiver | Rooney, Two-Face, Darkseid, Sinestro, Reverse Flash and Bizarro

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After questioning the Goodison Park postman yet again about the puzzling lack of fan mail delivered to his purpose-built, gold-initialed BS letterbox, Big Sam Allardyce went ahead with an early press conference on Friday and addressed other issues, including the prospect of Wayne Rooney upping sticks to the USA! USA!! USA!!! “I don’t get involved in transfers but there seems to be an interest from DC United,” he warbled. “My understanding is there seems to have been some negotiation along the line but as for clarity as to whether Wayne is staying or going, we’ll see later on … but let’s be clear, Wayne Rooney hasn’t asked to leave.”

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