The Fiver | Ripping the strap off his arm and bashing the beeping contraption

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Antonio Conte has always struck The Fiver as one of those versatile, fire-and-ice fellows, who would be capable of beating a polygraph machine in any sense of the word “beat”. It’s not hard to picture him strapped into a lie detector device and then ripping the strap off his arm and bashing the beeping contraption repeatedly against a wall while imagining it is the head of a misfiring forward. Then kicking it several times after it has fallen to the floor in a heap of straggly wire and bust metal. And stamping up and down on it until he’s pulled away by officers who thought they’d seen it all. You show ’em, Antonio!

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