The Fiver | Reducing defenders to tragically-sprawled pieces of Renaissance art

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During Euro 2016 a pub in Dublin offered free pints to women whenever the better-favoured team scored, and pints to the men when an underdog managed to hit the net. Iceland’s success presumably went some way towards ensuring both $exes ended up stumbling around with equal measures of decrepitude – but just imagine the chaos if Mohamed Salah had been Icelandic!

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