The Fiver | Here’s what you’ve missed in the last few weeks, then

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New year, new same old Fiver: another 12 months (minus the bank holidays and the bit around Christmas when we can’t be bothered) groping for gags at 5.01pm, doling out in-jokes that weren’t funny when we thought of them in 1999, reminding people who Ailsa from Home and Away was and hoping the Emmerdale Eminem does something notable so we can get that one going again, in desperately padded out, ridiculously long, one-sentence opening paragraphs that get us nearer the word count and so help restore our Work/Tin balance.

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