The Fiver | All we’ve needed to get to this point is bundles of television cash

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As fans of lower league clubs will no doubt agree, the struggles of Premier League sides in Big Cup in recent seasons is no laughing matter. National pride has taken a fair few dents on the continent in the five years since Roberto Di Matteo’s Chelsea defied logic by beating Bayern Munich in the final, from Louis van Gaal subbing on Nick Powell for Juan Mata when Manchester United needed a goal in Wolfsburg to Arsenal’s annual last-16 farce, to King Brenny playing the reserves at the Bernabéu and Claudio Bravo pretending to be Leo Messi at the Nou Camp, which has led to a sombre mood up and down the count … hang on a minute! Wipe that smirk off your face! Stop giggling, the lot of you! It isn’t funny! It’s a national tragedy! Ask anyone from Portsmouth or Blackburn or Hartlepool, they’ll tell you how much pain it causes to see the big clubs suffer in Europe. Honestly, some people. No respect.

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