Football transfer rumours: Mesut Özil returning home to Schalke?

Today’s tell-all is an insect in amber

Poor Tony Pulis. The former West Bromwich Albion manager had barely cleared his locker of chewing gum and club shop caps before a line of potential successors started forming at the Hawthorns. Right at the front, jostling to get a closer look at Claudio Yacob, is Derek McInnes. The Aberdeen manager has been linked with Rangers but used to captain West Brom, scoring this banger in the Battle of Bramall Lane.

Behind him, Nigel Pearson is acting as bouncer, keeping Alan Pardew, Sam Allardyce and both Martin and Michael O’Neill at arm’s length. But who’s this sneaking in at the back? Disgraced former Everton manager Ronald Koeman?! As if that wasn’t shameful enough, Pulis could be bundled straight down the M5/M4 to Swansea City, stopping for gum and hats at Magor services, if Paul Clement gets the boot.

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