The Fiver | An own-brand version of Liverpool’s exciting front three

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Presuming that all right-thinking Sky Sports subscribers would be trying to drown out the sound of tedious, braying American golf fans roaring “MASHED POTATOES!” as they watched their team get crushed under the heel of European domination, the station did the decent thing by football fans on Sunday afternoon. In a broadcast you’d expect might fall foul of the Trade Descriptions Act, its “Super Sunday” was limited to one match, Cardiff’s defeat at the hands of Burnley. As fixtures go, it could scarcely exude less glamour if it featured in a papped photo on some famous sidebar of shame. There it is, looking ever so grotty, emerging from the supermarket with its hair in curlers, wearing no make-up, a baggy T-shirt and a dirty pair of Tracky-Bs.

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