Football transfer rumours: Liverpool's Mohamed Salah to join Real Madrid?

Today’s tell-all is lost in translation

Roll up, roll up – the January sales continue at pace, the totaliser is ticking towards £500m and there’s still another week to spend, spend, spend! But what’s this? Uefa president Aleksander Ceferin wants to spoil everyone’s fun. He’s planning talks with Europe’s elite clubs about putting the brakes on big spending on transfer fees and wages. Boo! The Mill has to pay the rent, you know.

Ceferin’s plan to politely ask Europe’s super-clubs to stop spending quite so much money looks a gold-plated sure thing, and one manager who will be pleased is Antonio Conte. The Italian is stuck at poor, penniless Chelsea, unable to keep up with the Manchester clubs having spent barely £175m on new players this season. But who will pay for Roman Abramovich’s steampunk thunderdome, or fund the crafting of the world’s smallest violin? Oh Antonio!

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